The worst of Haute Garbage
Revisiting the articles that no one really read in 2024. We can call them cult classics.
I took a break from Haute Garbage last week for reasons I won’t get into in this post, but basically, I hate Christmas and anything associated with it. A lot of valuable brain power goes into the mental preparation of surviving December 25th, which is then followed by the enormous emotional comedown afterwards.
2024 is coming to an end, and I’m in a pretty good place despite it being a mixed bag of a year. It was my first year on Substack so instead of celebrating my wins and rounding up my top-performing posts, I thought I’d scrape the dregs off the bottom and salute what wasn’t as successful.
Let’s take out the garbage and revisit the five lowest-performing articles of 2024.
Enthralled by Martine Rose, Grace Wales Bonner, and Marine Serre’s SS25 collections in July, I explored why women were killing it in menswear, while my boyfriend, who has no clue about fashion, gave his opinions on some of the shows. My work has always been in womenswear, so it was a great way to research and synthesize my feelings about an area I don’t usually cover.
April comes, and like clockwork, the fashion industry seems to remember we are in a climate emergency and does sweet FA about it. Of course, with the exception of some performative sustainability marketing and a flood of new polyester-heavy merch declaring, “Every Day is Earth Day.” This is just me venting about the hypocrisy of brands’ involvement in the event. It blows.
My skin has been giving me more trouble in my 30s than it ever did in my teen years and as I frustratingly navigate perioral dermatitis, I can’t buy into the lotions and potions going viral on SkinTok, as much as I once really wanted to be a 10-step girlie. Maybe a blessing in disguise, given the endless cycle of consumption peddled by the beauty industry. See below for what goes on my face instead (coupled with doxycycline for flare-ups).
Maybe this was a bit too niche, as only 13% of my Hautties are reading from Australia, but regardless, you gotta get into Heartbreak High! With the third and final season coming out in 2025 (and an unmissable HG wrap-up to follow), there is plenty of time to read the article below to understand who everyone is, get a breakdown of their style, and learn how to do The Nutbush.
I admittedly rushed this piece as florals were in focus following the It Ends With Us press tour and there were so many more great examples I could have included. As the article mentions, I have never been a Blake Lively fan. I still don’t condone her questionable wardrobe, attitude and wedding venue. However, the recently revealed harassment she faced during filming and the smear campaign that was orchestrated is appalling and something that no woman deserves.
Since HG is still a baby (she turns one in April!), I’m not yet at the stage where I look back at my writing and cringe (though I’m sure I’ll get there) as I’ve done with past Instagram captions when it seemed to take me a stupidly long time to understand when to use “than” over “then.”
While it’s always amazing to see your work blow up with likes, comments and restacks, I’m writing this newsletter as my own creative outlet, not to go viral (though to be a full-time Substack Princess would be the dream). This was a fun exercise to review my writing and how I feel about these pieces now, whether the topic just didn’t hit, I hadn’t established as much of a readership as I do now, or it was just rubbish (jks - it’s all good shit. If you stay delulu you don’t have to get delulu).
Wishing all of you beautiful readers a very happy 2025!
Lots of love, Kayla x
Checking in as one of the 13% Hautties! Really appreciate the Australian POV in a very Euro/US dominated space. Came across your work maybe a month or two ago, but your writing really resonates with me, and I appreciate the honest roundup - can't wait to read the posts I've missed x
Love your newsletter, Kayla! I feel you on the whole Christmas BS, still recovering from my own. Hang in there, honey.💕