The Haute Garbage Unofficial Spring 2025 Awards List
That's a wrap on fashion month and I've got some very prestigious, very legit awards to award.
Coming to you at a later time slot than usual as we had to wait for Coperni to show at Disneyland Paris (eye roll), closing the curtain on the Spring 2025 circuit.
I haven’t been sitting FROW or anything. I’m far too unimportant for that. Part of my IRL job involves downloading collections from a third-party site, re-uploading them into another platform, and then writing about the most commercial trends that surfaced, using data to back up a color or silhouette’s current market position.
Yeah, it’s a fun gig. But you gotta check your emotions at the door in favor of objectivity. I can’t just say something is shit just because I don’t like it. Part of the reason I started this Substack was because I love emotional writing. I have oodles of feelings and opinions and fashion is an emotional and subjective beast.
A lot of good stuff has been written about critiquing fashion in this current age.
penned The rise and fall of red carpet criticism, arguing that negative commentary on a dress doesn’t equate to anti-feminism (which I agree with and have explored in Is Taylor Swift Actually Unfashionable Or Do We Just Hate Her?). In is real fashion criticism dead, discusses journalists' fear of being blocked by big media, leading to lukewarm, walking-on-egg-shell reviews that lack any honest and authentic commentary.A lot of social media discourse is ripping on the brands that aren't seen as "cool" right now as easy targets for criticism. You've probably seen several cries of "Sabato de Sarno won't last long" posted under Gucci's recent collection, where the celebrities in attendance were more exciting to look at than what was sent down the runway. Or "fire Maria Grazia Chiuri" for Dior's admittedly lackluster show. Social media allows us to make biting commentary without exploring why we feel so strongly about a designer. Then, everyone just piles on the hate train.
There is also the “disliking something just because it’s popular doesn’t make you deep” narrative, which I can understand but often now, with social media overexposure, fatigue sets in sooner than expected, especially in clothing. Additionally, if you critique a designer currently viewed as a fashion crowd fave, it's all "you just don't understand art." The challenge lies in trying to detangle our personal taste from mass perception.
OG Hautties will know I've done this silly award series before for the Met Gala. Similarly, I don't feel the need to over-intellectualize Fashion Week collections (except, well, maybe Prada. I got thoughts, don’t cancel me), especially when I won't be able to afford anything shown in this lifetime. It's all in good fun and based on my own opinion. So, let’s do it, here are the awards I'm dishing out for the SS25 season. You might wanna read in the browser as I think the email will cut off. I do have a tendency to go on and on and on…
The “Wearability” Awards
This is based on the looks that, if I had the bread, I would love to have within my wardrobe for everyday wear. In no particular order…
Kimhēkim - Although some pieces were reminiscent of the pandemic pillow dress challenge, there were so many great tailoring moments and I’ve been dreaming about the pearl teardrop sunglasses for so long.
Acne Studios - For The Cut, Cathy Horyn asked Where is The Summer Vibe in Milan? Unseasonable items were omnipresent across all cities, but I didn’t care. I was too busy ogling the green reptile jacket and melted brown leather sets at Acne Studios.
Issey Miyake - Exploring the beauty and functionality of paper, Issey Miyake’s signature pleats, dreamy draping, sheer materials and folded shoulder details were breathtaking, but I’m really after those angular trousers.
Bottega Veneta - Matthieu Blazy’s animal beanbags were the MVPs of fashion week, though they didn’t steal the limelight from the collection. I adored the structured suit jackets and the white coat with the blob-like lapels, while the shopping bags with the 3D leather flowers spilling out renewed my faith in florals post-Blake Lively.
The Row - While some people are salty about the brand’s continued no-phones policy, I’m kind of into it. It all ends up on the internet anyway. The Olsen’s are really honing their craft, which for SS25 saw a move away from Quiet Luxury into designs that were ultra-wearable but with enough of a point of difference to be interesting. Really into the scarf coats, khaki jackets, the choc-banana color scheme of Look 18, and the grey t-shirt and suit pants styled with the red heels and moss green clutch in Look 16. Red, grey and green together, who knew.
Alaïa - I’ve already used images from this collection in previous posts (Moo Deng anyone?). It’s such a winner in my book, the sculpted geometric shapes nodding to the Guggenheim’s architecture paired with the simple bandeau tops. I’ll probably never wear peplums again in this lifetime, which were abundant here, but it was a feast for the eyeballs nonetheless.
The “Bury Me In This” Award
Differing from wearability awards with something grander, I’m currently updating my will to read, "Please bury me in Schiaparelli," assuming I’ve won the lottery by then. I couldn’t get enough of the curvy waistline jeans on Kendall, the continuation of the ponytails, the fishbone jewelry, the big draping lapels - nothing short of deliciousness. Those visible-toe shoes are so dumb; I’m obsessed.
The “I’m Rich, You’re Poor” Award
I don’t really go for anything that reeks of old money, probably because I am not of old money and don’t have any new money either. Ralph Lauren’s ode to the Hamptons reignited my feelings about the basicness of summer dressing, especially if it is built around cosplaying as the rich. Blue, white, stripes, polos. Snore, next!
The “Don’t Show SHEIN” Awards
Anything Miu Miu is going to be super duped, given that it’s the hottest brand in the world right now. I enjoyed this collection more than Prada (always nice to see Willem Dafoe), and though I can’t imagine myself ever voluntarily wearing a windbreaker, Miu Miu cohesively balanced old and new, virality and wearability. Weirdo energy without the gimmicks, save for those diaper-like hot pants, which you just know SHEIN is gonna knock off.
IRL, I’ve written about and spoken to Glossy on the trends that divide generations, one of the latest being the Sock Debate. Is Gen Z gonna back-peddle on their defiant “low socks are shit” stance now that Mrs P’s gone and done the tiniest arch warmers? Additionally, in our current society ruled by the Alaïa mesh ballet flat, Simone Rocha raised the bar with the next It shoe. I’m expecting this dainty mesh kitten heel to be replicated throughout fast fashion. Not my thing, but she’s cute and perfect to pair with teeny sockettes. I’ll take that bouquet bag though!
The “I Hate This” Award
I am not and have never been a Chanel girlie, so it would probably be biased of me to rip on that collection. Instead, this award goes to Balmain. Don’t get me wrong - I love surrealism in fashion, as evidenced by my Schiaparelli fixation. However, I reckon when incorporating faces into designs, it's best to keep them abstract. Anything too realistic feels creepily Uncanny Valley. Also, is that meant to be Kylie Jenner? It’s all just too meta. No thanks.
The “Emotional Support Handbag” Award
Coach oozed peak Jeremy Scott at Moschino essence. I used to own the obnoxiously large fries and teddy bear phone cases (fun fact: years ago I dropped the latter down some lighthouse stairs on New Year's Eve, and it just bounced all the way down, phone unscathed). Are these bags ridiculously childish and impractical? Yes. Do I also want to carry around a big squishy brontosaurus? Fuckin’ oath.
The “Kitschy Knit” Award
Ashley Williams is always a fun one for prints. Remember in 2019 when Adwoa Aboah opened the show in the sperm fleece? Less naughty but playful nonetheless, the brand’s SS25 collection was fit for fighting evil by the moonlight, winning love by daylight, with Sailor Moon references aplenty.
The “Didn’t Get The Memo Brat Summer Is Over” Awards
While I’m thrilled with the rumors that Charli XCX is coming to Melbourne to perform at Laneway, the intensity of memes and online culture has killed Brat Summer. I don’t want to see any more neon green. Gucci, GCDS, I’m looking at you.
The “Soap Bubble” Award
Stella McCartney’s collection was a critique of the fashion industry killing birds for their feathers, which is noble, but on a surface level, it was all about those cloud silhouettes for me. They remind me of taking bubble baths and fashioning an outfit from the suds, which I did as a kid and would still do if I could squeeze a tub into my tiny bathroom.
The “Upsidedown” Awards
Alessandro Michele didn’t come to Valentino to start fresh. He copied and pasted his special brand of moth-eaten maximalism from Gucci over to Valentino. Giving us all a weird sense of déjà vu, muses Harry Styles and Florence Welch were along for the ride. You either love his work or you loathe it. I would fall under the latter, though I can’t deny he has an iron-clad signature and vision.
The “New Focal Point” Awards
SS25 was all about hip emphasis. The Issey Miyake trousers, Loewe’s hoop skirts and Acne Studios puffy jeans. Cool, but what annoys me with super exaggerated shapes is fashion’s constant refusal to cast bigger models and cater to plus sizes. Don’t talk to me about the cost of material excess when you’re making these damn voluminous concoctions for size zeros.
The “Gimmickiest Gimmick” Award
It wouldn’t be Fashion Week without a gimmick. Vetements strapping up Gigi in DHL duct tape and calling it a dress is certainly a contender, but I gotta give this award to Coperni. I was excited about their Pre-Spring collection with the sparkly Vibram Five-Finger-inspired shoes, but this latest show put them right back in gimmick territory. The Cinderella castle setting, the princess ballgowns, the character tees, ruining a perfectly good Swipe bag with the Disney logo, Kylie Jenner closing. I’m glad they kept the Five-Fingers, but that’s probably my only compliment.
Though I’ve enjoyed the childlike elements that have cropped up in the previously mentioned shows, Disney just unsettles me. I’ve been around a few Disney adults in my life, and they’re pretty odd units. It’s one thing to enjoy the nostalgia of rewatching your favorite show but it’s quite another to be in a perpetual state of Peter Pan syndrome, basing your entire personality off of capitalist creations. There is just something so soulless about Mickey Mouse and his dead shark eyes. Plus, we’ve already seen so many Disney collabs. Bambi for Givenchy in 2013, Gucci’s Year of the Mouse collection in 2020. Not to mention the endless merch at fast fashion brands. It’s done.
The “Over It” Award
I’ve previously been vocal about my dislike for anything boho, so for something different, let’s go with football and rugby shirts. I’m not a sporty dresser, so they will never appeal to me. In the bin.
The “Keeping Me Up At Night” Award
Let me end this by getting on my James Spader soapbox (I'm watching lots of Boston Legal rn) and talk Prada. Since the show, I've been slowly dissolving the collection on my tongue. It's been lauded on the internet as innovative, a modern-day classic. I'll cop to that despite my love for all things Prada, I wasn't automatically bowled over.
Was there a method to the madness? I slowly warmed to the designs, though on much reflection, I wondered if that is part of the Prada charm - the quirkiness, the slow release, and the lasting appeal. Or, the fear I'd get bullied by the fashion crowd for saying it's not my cup of tea.
I certainly resonated with the show notes, detailing a much-needed "break the algorithm" direction. It was a complete brain dump, with each look purposefully incohesive and chaotic. A splicing of sci-fi elements and past references. Though, no, we don't need to revive the Spring 2011 Oxfords. That's from the banana skirts collection, and I am not ready to accept that so much time has passed.
As the show notes detailed, the collection is intentionally divisive and unpredictable. I expect it will be the blueprint for many other designers' future seasons, but is this kind of unedited, spaghetti-on-the-wall approach the future of fashion? I'm sure as AI advances and aesthetics become more homogenized, we will long for this warped, fragmented tapestry of the archives and retrofuturism.
Some beautiful pieces - the harness details, the 60s coats. Again, with the windbreakers that I'm sure will be a commercial hit. Not my fave and not their best, though I will applaud Miuccia and Raf on their creativity. This was the collection I spent the most time looking at and trying to decipher my feelings towards it and at the end of the day, isn't that the point?
Keen to hear everyone else's thoughts on Prada, but please try and mute out all the puff pieces online.
Loved this piece even though there was more summer fashion slander smh!
An absolute honour to be on here in good company! 🩷