Silly Little Outfits To Boost Serotonin For Sad Office Days Vol.5
Beating seasonal depression with my ass out in vintage Chloé. Plus, all-brown everything.
Time for another one of these!
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I don’t do this series as much as I’d like. I know getting dressed can be a great tool to boost your mood but as anyone with clinical depression who works from home knows, it’s hard enough to get up in the morning and feed yourself, let alone put on a cute outfit and photograph it for the internet.
When I’m not simultaneously rotting and working in bed, I like to record what I’ve been wearing with as little effort as possible. Emphasis on the low effort: I’m not a fashion influencer and have no aspirations to become one. I just have a shitty phone and nice things that I want to give airtime to without doing the Apple dance.
If you haven’t guessed from the Haute Garbage Instagram account, I’m really into making stickers in the notes app, so we will be doing this until I find something I like better.
Second-Handies
The last time we explored my wardrobe I was living my best life in Türkiye. Since then, things have been a tad chaotic. Work has been mental and the weather has been shite. I know I’ve tapped out of the last few Melbourne winters but I don’t remember it ever getting so bitterly cold. We’ve all been sick, gross and miserable, living on porridge and off-brand two-minute noodles.
On the bright side, I struck second-hand shopping gold. Marimaria Vintage held a pop-up where I stumbled across a true archival gem in the form of cut-out pants from Phoebe Philo’s first collection for Chloé in 2002 (can we call something archival if it’s just over 20 years old?)
They are the most perfect flared trousers and have truly changed my perception of anything low-rise. Check them out at the 14-minute mark below. Less exciting but a strong addition to my sparse autumn/winter skirt rotation, I dug up this cool woolen deconstructed midi situation (sticker five) at Melbourne’s Second Life Markets.
The Essentials
Other bits not yet cataloged in previous Volumes, I’ve had this Ganni merino turtleneck in my handwashing pile for far too long. I finally washed it and then proceeded to get the treads caught on my 3D press-on nails. It’s also got a cut-out, so with the Chloé pants, I’ve created the ultimate businesses in the front, party in the back situation, and a reminder that I can’t ever return to a real office setting.
For the third outfit, where I look like a Babcia at Biedronka, the fuzzy coat is about ten years old from Carin Wester, and my Acne Studios scarf is wrapped around my head. The bag is pictured purely for Mija. When Joel and I were in Spain, we desperately needed to do some washing and this was what we got our stuff back in, which we’ve hung on to for grocery runs.
Mija has asked if I wouldn’t mind if she got the same bag when she goes abroad, saying, “Hot girls don’t gatekeep.” I didn’t realize upon Googling that it's advertising a brand of broth, and I love that out of everything I own, Mija is most taken by this. If you’re of a similar persuasion, you can find it here.
Also, wanted to shout out the checkered linen pants (sticker 4), which are by Phisique du role. I purchased them from a boutique in Florence in 2022, and I always look forward to wearing them when it’s a bit sunnier.
Fast Fashion
I’m back on my Vol 1. bullshit about grey pants. Those grey Zara pants with the skirt sewn over the top were on sale, and my intrusive thoughts won. I bought them and then had to have them altered, as they fit fine when I tried them on in the store, but in true Zara inconsistency, they arrived with at least a two-size variance.
Remember, the problem is always Zara, not your body. They’re still a bit too long to wear with flat shoes, so it's back to the tailor, but I’m willing to put in the cost and effort to get maximum wear because I’m not a quitter.
Future Influences
I will state for the record that I want to be @yuki_injo so bad. Everything she wears is flawless - sleek side-boob-revealing dresses, oversized tailoring, dresses and skirts layered over pants (my black pre-loved Marc Jacobs slip over jeans in sticker 2 simply pales in comparison but its a fave). Another person whose style I’d love to copy-paste, @nnataliasun, wore the O-Mighty goldfish knit in Japan, and now it's all I’m thinking of. Y’all know how I feel about fish and fashion.
Highlighted as part of the formula for the chronically online Cool Girl uniform, I’m yet to purchase a pair of colorful sneakers. I don’t believe I own any shoes that aren’t black or white, and I’ve been trying to hunt down some red sneakers for a while. This could either be me wanting to inject some color into my stereotypically Melbournian wardrobe or a sign that my brain is cooked from too much scrolling.
It might be the cold weather or my eternal love for rich chocolatey hues, but I still can’t get over the adidas x Wales Bonner Fox Brown sneakers. However, due to the high price point and the lack of availability, I don’t know if I can justify the purchase. I’m not a Hypebae, after all.
My good friend Matty makes a living as a sneaker buyer, and we’ve been discussing the Puma Speedcats. Where some sneakers are a turn-off for a bulbous toe, the Speedcats' ultra-slim profile is a bit too F1 driver, which I know is the point and shouldn’t be taken literally but I just don’t think they’re for me. I’m also a terrible driver, FYI.
Then we were thinking something in a dark green suede could be a fun color combo with my chocolate brown suit, so I nearly purchased the Gazelle Indoors, but Joel ruined everything by calling them “Christmas shoes.” A great way to inform your purchasing decisions is if you’re still willing to buy something, knowing that every time you wear it, your partner will have a giggle.
Continuing my chocolate brown kick, I’ve also been dreaming about this color in bags. I was in Auckland for work and stumbled across Sydney designer Brie Leon’s Harlow Slouch Mono Tote, though decided to leave it as I like to have a top zip and think my next bag purchase should be something I can put my laptop in. Maybe the like the Miu Miu Adventure and Balenciaga Motorcycle Weekender? I did find a sweet deal on the latter secondhand but snoozed and losed.
Bag charms are another trend I have seen everywhere, especially covering Copenhagen Fashion Week for work. They are so cute but I am trying not to be influenced as I do have some feelings that I’m planning to unpack in a future post.
Finally, let’s talk trench coats. I’m sure I have a classic, non-leather style somewhere but I can’t seem to find it. During my vintage trawls I am looking for something similar to this Olivia Cashmore style. Long, oversized, maybe a cape overlay, a waist belt and not too much fuss on the sleeves. As usual, whenever you’re hunting something so specific, it tends to elude capture. Trench Coat Gate is the new Grey Pants Gate.
What Else?
I sang the praises of the lovely Aoife’s Substack Between Friends in Vol 3. Always inspired by what she’s reading, watching and coveting, here is my own list of things I’ve been enjoying and need to get to next to over the next few months:
Substacks: The Molehill and In Case of Doubt. As a big fan of both, I was thrilled to be included in
’s voice memo #1 style advice/thong bodysuits/barn jackets/horse girls and write a guest post for Trend Forecasting In The Age Of Chronic Connectivity. Also, on the topic of trend forecasting, I really enjoyed this piece by .Listening to: No Name by Jack White and a lotta Fat White Family as they’re coming to Melbs.
Watching: The Bear. I know I’m late to the party with Seasion 3, but as much as I love Carmy, Syd and Cousin, we’ve put off watching it. The stress is too much. Also, the Olympics was on, so you know Simone took priority and I can get my Jeremy Allen White fix from the new Calvin Klein campaign.
Eat at: After being housebound for so long, I just really want to go out for a martini and a steak at Gimlet. Sorry, Angus.
Oh yeah and cat.
